No Right to Your Reply

I said it in the doorway after ten,

And watched you flinch before you turned away;

I've heard those words a thousand times since then,

There's no undoing what I chose to say.

I could explain the sleeplessness, the fear,

The way I felt too cornered to be kind;

But none of that makes what I said less clear:

I knew they'd hurt you; still I didn't mind.

I'm not entitled to another try,

To coffee, or forgiveness, or a call;

I can't demand you listen when I cry,

Or make my shame your burden after all.

I'll work to be the person I should be,

Not so that you will change your mind one day;

And if you choose a future without me,

I owe you one last kindness: stay away.